Patreon launch date, word count goals, and invariably other various nonsense

What up, bitches? I hope this Thor’s day has found you well-caffeinated and nifty.

On a side note, Thor’s day is actually my favourite day, as I was born on Thor’s day (almost a month late because I’m stubborn like that) and, as far as I’ve been able to trace it, my maiden name is derived from the name Thorloit, which means, “Thor’s people.”

So there you have it: I’M EVEN COOLER THAN YOU THOUGHT.

And yes, I’m feeling better today–thank you for all your good thoughts and well wishes. And while I have yet again remained sober, I have been drinking Pepsi because it is now ye ol’ time of the month and godsdammit, my obnoxiously redundant uterus wanted sugar, okay?

The most exciting news to report, however, is that I finished the second installment of my short story series last night!


Seriously, you guys. I am having a fucking BLAST writing these. And the response from friends and family, as well complete strangers on Facebook, has been fucking tremendous. Words like “amazing” and “fabulous” are being used, and someone told me today that they would be on “pins and needles” waiting to find out what happens.

DUDE. Dude.

Can I tell you how fucking gratifying that is to hear? Because, like, hot DAMN. It’s basically the coolest thing EVER.

And because I’m getting into a groove and feeling confident I can pretty easily punch one of these out each month, especially now that I have a bit of a buffer with two in the barrel, I am super excited to announce that I will be launching my Patreon with the first installment this Sunday, the 1st of July!!!

And I’m totally going to make my mom become a patron right away because I figure it’s kind of like a tip jar and people are more likely to become a patron if I already have patrons, right?

Also, she fucking LOVES the story and really, what are moms for if not for heading their progeny’s cheerleading squad, amirite?


I’ve also been pondering word count goals and doing some maths, like you do, and I believe I am nearly ready to commit to 10,000 words a week going forward. And I say “nearly” because it may be something I work up to between now and when the wee folk go back to school in a month and half because reality. But either way, I think that’s gonna be the sweet spot, as it will allow for roughly four significant blog posts a week, one several-thousand-word short story a month, plus 5000 words a week toward my novel, of which I am super duper hoping to have the first draft finished by the end of the year. Because at some point last year I decided I would set a goal of having it published by the time I turn 40, and whether that’s really a reasonable goal or not, look at me all making goals and shit!

I’m like a real person now!


Anyway. We’ll see how that all goes.

I also have a new food obsession I’m going to share with you because HOLY SHIT, you need to procure some for yourself RIGHT NOW. It’s the Zhoug Sauce from Trader Joe’s, and I’m just gonna assume you already shop there because I’m really not sure what possible absurdity might have kept you from doing so on a regular basis thus far, so just put it on your list for next trip. DO IT. It’s a thick, spicy cilantro-based sauce with Yemeni roots and is clearly made with crack, so beware. I’ve been smothering bowls of turkey meatballs and brown rice with it and will be using it as a topping when I next make falafel because FUCKING TRADER JOE’S HAS THEIR OWN FALAFEL MIX NOW. Do you even KNOW how many times I have lamented the fact that they don’t didn’t have their own??


Because while I love cooking from scratch, I don’t actually own a full-sized food processor, so things like homemade falafel are kind of not like really on my agenda ever.

Oh, and I’m going to make some flatbread in a few days when it’s not balls hot and slather some on that, too. I make some pretty bomb ass flatbread using this recipe because homemade flatbread is fucking amazing and you should make some, too (when it’s not balls hot, or whenever really if you have some of the newfangled air-conditioning).

Okay, I think that’s it for now, my dudes. Imma take the night off from writing and see if the scruffy-looking nerfherder will take a break from conquering the world Crusader Kings-style and watch TV with me because LUKE CAGE, BITCH!

Have I mentioned how obsessed I am with Netflix’s Marvel shows? I’m planning to do a series of reviews here on the blog about them, in fact! Starting with a defense of Iron Fist because I fucking LOVE Iron Fist, HAHA!!

And not to worry, I actually have impeccable taste in TV, so it will all become clear eventually.



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